In the past couple of weeks, I've been doing some soul searching and rethinking what I really want do with my life. It's a tough responsibility I must fulfill. Unfortunately, I'm not one of people who, at an early age, were blessed to realize what they were born to do. I'm part of the majority who try to figure out our purpose in life as we go through our day-to-day survival.
After graduating from college, I had the privilege of having worked in two reputable companies. Although my work experiences are in line with the degree I earned in college, I can't seem to find the fulfillment I'm longing for. I end up being unhappy with the work I have to endure on a daily basis. I try to explore the possibility that I might just need to tweak my attitude as most people would suggest, but I simply feel that I have the wrong occupation. I'm fighting in the wrong battlefield.
With that said, I ask myself, "What must I do?" It's very easy to say that I should leave my current job and follow my heart's desires, but as the cliché goes, it's easier said than done. I'm 25 years old and coming up with a decision when faced with a predicament as such does not get any easier at my age.I have to consider a lot of things before arriving at a conclusion.
First, if I decide not to resign, I have to brace myself to face the ugly truth that there's a big chance that I might continue to live a life of unhappiness. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but from the way I see how things are going, the future is far from becoming bright. Again, you may think that happiness is a choice and should not be dependent on one's environment or situation, but then again, misery could spring out from over fatigue, stress, frustration, and desperation.
If I do resign, what will be my next steps? Do I even have a plan? The problem is, I don't know what I really want. There you go. My biggest obstacle. If asked what areas of discipline would make me happy, I would say photography and languages. However, when I look at my camera I wonder if that piece of equipment can really bring in the money I need to survive and support the my luxuries. There are photographers out there who make a name for themselves and earn big in taking beautiful pictures. I just don't have the courage to take the risk and try it out myself.
If I think photography can't create a livelihood, much less speaking Spanish or any other foreign language. Moreover, to be a dependable Spanish speaker entails years of experience. I'm not sure if I even have the luxury of time to master the language sans a promise of a career.
I know I'm an artist at heart. My friend Migs said I have a temperament of an artist. But aside from being an artist, I want the financial stability of a business or working up the corporate ladder. It's possible to marry the two. I just have to find a way.
For now, I'll just pray for the guidance and the courage to take the path I truly desire. I hope I'll get that sign real soon. There is still hope.
Bow,
