I’m an avid reader of your blog and I enjoy reading your entries about life, love and everything else. It seems that you’re a pretty nice guy who has a different way of loooking at things. That’s why I thought of asking you something personal. It’s been bothering me for quite some time now and I don’t know why I feel comfortable sharing it to you but here it goes… I think there’s something wrong with me. I just can’t pinpoint what exactly. I’ve noticed that all the guys I’ve been with (not that they’re many), whether it was a serious relationship or just casual dating, become happier after being with me. It’s becoming a pattern that after we’ve ended things, they meet a new girl, sometimes even the girl of their dreams. Maybe I’m exaggerating already, but I really feel that I’m the Good Luck Chuck female version. Is there something wrong with me?
Thanks for your time.
Dear Good Luck Chick,
It’s easy to say that the guys you’ve dated before are happier just because they’ve found a new love interest. You may be thinking this way simply because they’re with someone and you’re not.
Let me ask you, what are the reasons why you stopped dating or broke up with the guys you been with before? If there is a clear-cut reason for the two of you to part ways, then you don’t have to worry about them being happier with another partner. If the guy just stopped seeing you without saying a word, then he’s not worth it. Find a guy who says what’s on his mind and means every single word he says.
Think about what went wrong in your past relationships. If you realize that you break up with guys for the same reasons (over and over again), then maybe you can improve yourself, but not necessarily change who you are. Also keep in mind that you are doing this for your own good and not to win the approval of guys in the future. If you think there is something in you that can make you a better person, go for it. But if you (in all honesty) think that the problem lies in the guys you date, then let them be.
Know what you want in a guy. Stick to your principles and the good things about you. Don’t change just to win a guy’s heart. It’s easy to fall into that trap, you know?